I went in with a list of three things: First, I had a consistent moaning sound correlated to road speed, which the dealer (Queensway VW) said was all in my head. Second, random bozos had smashed each mirror, and I had new ones in a box that needed installing.  Third, the engine idiot light was on.

They turned the car around in less than a day and relieved me of $450 in labour and $315 in parts. They work from a labour book, which means that there are standardized times for each job regardless of actual time. So: $160 to install two mirrors, $200 to replace a wheel bearing and hub, and $90 for an engine temperature sensor.

Perhaps if I had ambition, the temperature sensor was within my reach to do myself. The rest wasn’t. I’m sure some enthusiast out there could do it for the part and a case of beer, but I’m through with those kind of people working on my stuff.

I dealt with Hans, who is a charming, tall, grizzled mechanic. He looks exactly like you think someone who has been fixing european cars for 40 years would look like.

They also don’t have a website. This speaks volumes about their character (“Why would we want one of those? Tell your friends about us.”) and that their attitude secures them repeat business.

Overall, I felt this was excellent service and a fair price from the kind of people I enjoy giving my money to. I’ll be going back before my timing belt gives up.

I’ve detailed elsewhere what a massive pain in the ass it is to deal with Holland America while buying a trip. They engage in tied selling (you must take a land tour if you want a certain grade of cabin) and extort considerable amounts from you if you want to guarantee a particular grade of cabin, or placement on the ship.

My advice to not get screwed like I did is to buy the cheapest cabin you can stand, and jump on the upgrade offers when they inevitably arrive. You’ll be spending most of your time out of your cabin.

Holland America is part of a giant cruise-ship conglomerate with over 100 ships, with perhaps over 150,000 revenue berths afloat. They market themselves to people with more disposable income than your average bear.

Fellow cruisers

Everyone is of a certain age and economic status – retired teachers, retired-at-48 businessmen, well-off Texans, etc.  There is nobody I feel I can relate to on sight, although the retired-at-48 businessman from Halifax seemed agreeable enough. A typical cruiser on the line would be 51 years old, from Texas with a nice job in the oil industry, overweight, with no kids travelling with them.  A significant portion are so overweight as to be unable to move with a reasonable degree of nimbleness.  There were a couple of wheelchair-bound individuals, an equal number of slightly surly teenagers, and absolutely nobody in their 20s or 30s. Half were retired, most early. In spirit, most were solidly middle-aged.

None of the travellers I met had any instincts for independent travel: they were amazed I would rent a bike in town, or rent a car and create my own tour. They were happy to be handled (and gouged) by the Holland America tour shepherds.

When I hear the broad American accent, I experience a horrible prejudice, certain that I am dealing with idiots. The people I met did a lot to dispel that, being naturally curious about travel – to Italy, to obscure corners of Africa, to Cuba, and aware of the US’s place in the world.  I set out hoping to pick a fight with a Sarah Palin supporter but didn’t find a single one.

The ship

Extremely well-maintained, with nice fixtures, and pleasant if uninspiring art.  They make a noticeable effort to fix burnt-out lightbulbs, clean routinely, and the staff are fanatical about wiping down work surfaces.  There is an extensive program to fight illness, with alcohol sanitizers just about everywhere.

Traditions and senior staff

Holland America cheerfully and unironically engages in a variety of naval traditions. All shipboard crew have ranks; one yeoman was summoned, by name and rank, to report for immigration processing.  On a maiden voyage, their ships are greeted by fire-boat salutes. The boat is organized and run according to typical naval traditions. The captain routinely seeks out guests of honour and treats them nicely. While perhaps a standard practice in the hospitality industry, Holland America manages to make this look unaffected and easy.  Midafternoon tea service, whether Dutch Royal, or Indonesian, or English, was a given.

One puzzling thing: the ship’s senior crew rotate off routinely and are noticeably distant. Captain Jack van Coevorden, who provided barometer readings and course details every mornings, was otherwise invisible and was replaced at the end of the voyage.  Bert van Mecklenbergh, the hotel manager, was on another ship last year, and has a clear talent for dancing, photography, and bitching about his guests to his colleagues while in the Crow’s Nest bar.  It’s too bad they were so invisible, because they clearly have the most interesting stories.

Food

Holland America lays claim to the high ground when it comes to cruising food. For the most part they delivered, with interesting and varied menus, capable presentation, good ingredients, and very uneven technique (dry meats, overcooked seafood, oversteamed vegetables). They offer complimentary room service. Every menu provides at least one vegetarian option, and though they have demonstrated competence with eggplant, though they neglected veggie-protein needs such as lentils or tofu.   Their drinks are mixed by hand, well-done and usually stiff.

Staff and service

I’m not the sort of person who demands a high level of service out of anyone, but their predominantly Indonesian (Java, mostly) and Filipino crew were well-trained, genuinely cheerful, and bulldog-tenacious when faced with a problem whose resolution would make a customer happier. At one point we left my mother’s cane in a restaurant, and the busboy believed another guest’s claim to know who it belonged to.  When I turned a moment later, he realized his error and immediately abandoned his duties during a busy dinner service to lead me on a half-hour tear around the ship looking for it.  When I suggested we borrow one from the medical center, he made it happen.

Music and entertainment

The shipboard singers and dancers were singularly talented – most with Broadway experience and an obvious enthusiasm for the corny show-tune material.

The orchestra, over 10 performers typically scattered around the ship’s bars at night, may have been competent, but are hamstrung by their bland, middle-of-the-road list of approved tunes.  At one point, the string section went off on a bright, east-coast style  fiddle-driven tear, and for a brief moment there was life. Then it was gone.  They need to put their synthesizer player into a wood chipper and let that drummer rock out.

There was a talent show for the crew that clearly showed the hand of corporate interference. The crew clearly have talents but the creative direction of the performance was insincere.

The nightlife was absolutely pathetic. If you are the sort of person who, at 10:30pm with sunlight still visible through the windows and no urge to sleep, thinks to visit the bar and see what’s up, be prepared to be one of the four barflies present.

Value

I overpaid to get a guaranteed veranda deck.

Schedule

The boat typically docked around 6am, with excursions starting between 7 and 8am. The sun comes up at 4:45am and set sometime around 11pm. It was rough, but part of the scenery.

The first post will discuss the Holland America line and cruising in general. Later, I will discuss the various towns we visited on our itinerary.

The itinerary: fly to Vancouver; travel on the Holland America ship ms Statendam to Seward, Alaska via Ketchikan, Juneau, Skagway, Glacier Bay, and College Fjord; bus to Anchorage; train to Fairbanks via Denali Park; fly back to Toronto, after spending 3 days in Vancouver.

Stingray Sam is his second movie, following from the similarly-toned, better-rounded The American Astronaut.  To describe the plot is to give it away.   Follow fakeequator on YouTube to see all the musical numbers, but you really should see the film in it entirety.

If it doesn’t leave you slightly puzzled and entirely cheered up, there’s something wrong with you.

I’ve been on a campaign to get someone… anyone … to pay attention to the fact that a project with clear customer service benefits and has already been through a competitive tender is just sitting there about to get cancelled.

Update: I ran out of battery in the 2nd hour of the meeting. Next time I’ll be better prepared.

Summary: The electronic initiatives was a good-news update. The e-commerce project remains “on hold” until June.

TTC Commission Meeting

I’ve chosen to cruise on Holland America Line because that is the line my parents took to come to Canada – I think in 1953?

The cruise route we’re doing is a one-way northbound out of Vancouver, going up to Anchorage, Alaska.

If you want a room with a balcony for your mother to sit on, it turns out that Holland America refuses to just give you what you want, and forces you to take decisions you’re not interested in.

You can:

1. Veranda rooms are only available to people who choose to take a cruise tour, that is a cruise followed by a tour. If you want to do an independent car rental to go look at the things you’re interested in, forget it – Holland America wants to drag you all over the state on a tour bus.
2. If you don’t want to do that, you could take a non-veranda room, and put your name on a waiting list, and pay for an upgrade if a room becomes available. Then you are not forced to take the tour.

At some point before the cruise departs the rooms are taken off of this crappy forced-choice arrangement and you can just get a room with an open-air view.

This set of forced choices doesn’t end there. To cruise, you have to fly, and if you want to fly on flights Holland America arranges for you, you won’t find out which airline, and which schedule, you’re going to be on. So you might get a respectable Air Canada/Westjet flight in the afternoon, or a 2am redeye on a cramped Air Transat.

What do you suppose the chance is I’ll take my mother to an airport at 3am? And how happy would I be giving Air Transat my money, something I resolve to never do after they fucked me in Paris? Screw you, Holland America.

If this had been Drupal I would have been tearing my hair out 3 minutes in,  cursing that system’s developers and everyone who ever thought it was any good. But WordPress? Schlick schtuff: wow how I was  having fun.  I’d forgotten web publishing can be like this.  Whee! Look out world, here comes blogger Steeeeeeeeeeeve with his TITLE attribute set! Banzai!

Then my browser crashed.

Web browsers are such a blessing, and such a curse.  I don’t know if the Internet would be better off without them.

My chosen venue is the Dizzy on Roncesvalles, the preferred hangout for the neighbourhood’s rowdy hosers.  Tip to the wise: if your girlfriend isn’t into hockey do not bring them along. You’ll both have a crappy time; compare and contrast: